Marriage as Death

The following was a wedding homily, which I’ve adapted here for written and public format.


“Marriage is…(fill in the blank?)” I wonder how we would finish that sentence, using just one word. “Marriage is (what?).” If we had the time, it’d be interesting to survey a range of people and hear all the different ways folks would answer that question.

Maybe some would say, especially at a wedding, “Marriage is… beautiful.” Or maybe others would say, “Marriage is a gift.”

And both of those are true. But what if I told you that we could also finish that sentence this way, “Marriage is death”?

Now if marriage is something of a death, I suppose that means a wedding is in fact a funeral. And if you’re the ones getting married, that means on your wedding day you’re actually attending your own funerals!

That’s what I would like us to consider: marriage as a death.

1. Leaving & Cleaving

First, marriage involves the death of two independent lives, as husband and wife come together to form “one flesh.”

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Purchase How Can I Love Church Members with Different Politics?

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Edit: In the sermon, I mention that the word “Lord” (κύριος, otherwise translated “master”) is used eight times in 3:18-4:1, seven of which refer to Christ. That is not correct. I realized afterward that I miscounted. “Lord” is actually mentioned nine times, seven of which indeed refer to Christ (and one additional time if one includes the reference in 3:17).