The following was a wedding homily, which I’ve adapted here for written and public format.

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Believe it or not, your wedding day is not about you.

Now, of course, in one sense today is about you. Friends and family have traveled from near and far to witness and celebrate your marriage.

But at a deeper level, your wedding—your marriage—is not ultimately about you. Rather, marriage exists for Christ. So too, the marriage you are about to enter into exists for Christ. It exists to display the preeminence of Christ.

Christ’s preeminence (Colossians 1:15–20)

Colossians 1:15–20 has two main parts. First, in vv.15–17, Paul extols Christ’s preeminence over creation. Then in verses 18–20, he praises Christ’s preeminence over redemption, or we might say, the new creation—and specifically the church.

This is so that, as Paul says in v.18, Christ might have preeminence in everything. By preeminence, Paul means that Christ holds first place, supreme rank, absolute priority. Or as some translations say, “that in everything he might have the supremacy” (NIV) or “that he might come to have first place in everything” (NRSVue, CSB, NASB, cf. NET, NLT). In other words, Christ is not one important figure among many; he is the singular, ultimate reality toward which all of creation moves.

Let’s briefly survey what Paul says.

Over creation (Col 1:15–17)

Christ “is the image of the invisible God” (v.15). Christ perfectly reveals what God is like. What God is, Christ is. The fullness of deity dwells in him (v.19). The invisible God has made himself visible in Christ.

He is “the firstborn of all creation” (v.15), meaning—as the firstborn son held a prized spot—so Christ, as the Creator of all things, has supremacy over his creation. “All things were created through him”—nothing exists that was not created by Christ (v.16). As the one who created all things, he is Lord over all things.

And he sustains creation: every atom, every molecule, every galaxy continues to exist and maintains its order because of him (v.17).

But notice something crucial. Paul adds that not only were all things created “by him,” but also “for him” (v.16). Christ is not only the agent of creation—the one through whom everything was made. He is also the goal of creation—the one for whom everything was made. What does this mean? Creation exists to bring glory to Christ. Absolutely everything that was created was created to display his worth and beauty. From eternity past, the purpose of creation has been and always will be the exaltation of Christ.

Over new creation (1:18–20)

In v.18 ff Paul shifts to speak of Christ’s preeminence over redemption, specifically the church.

He is the head of the body—his redeemed people, the church (v.18).

Just as he is the “firstborn” over creation, so too he is the “firstborn” over this new creation. Namely, he is the first to have risen from the dead (v.18), achieving and bringing with it the resurrection of all who are in him. He is not only the first one to experience resurrection; he is the founder of new-creation-resurrection life for his people. In other words, just as he is the source of creation, so he is the source of the new creation, including the church.

Over everything

What is the conclusion to these things? v.18: “that in everything [that is, in creation and redemption] he might be preeminent.” Christ was already supreme over all things by virtue of having created them. But now, he also holds first place in the new creation, as the one who redeemed this creation.

He is the beginning and the end, creation’s Alpha and the Omega (Rev 1:8). He created all things for himself, and he is reconciling all things to himself.¹ Creation reaches its eternal purpose by being reconciled to Christ.

Christ’s preeminence over your marriage

So what does this all have to do with marriage?

You may have noticed that nowhere does this passage talk about marriage. However, this passage tells us the purpose for literally everything that exists; it speaks of “all things”—which, of course, includes marriage.

Like everything else (Col 1:16), marriage was created through Christ. He created it in the Garden of Eden (Gen 2:18–25). It was his idea. He owns it. He dictates its meaning and purpose, not us.

But not only was marriage created by Christ, like everything else in creation, it was created for Christ (Col 1:18). It exists (ultimately) for him—for his glory. As Paul explains in Ephesians 5, God created marriage to provide a living picture of Christ’s relationship to his people, the church (Eph 5:22–33, esp. v.32). From the very beginning, when God created marriage, he designed it to point forward to and depict the work of Christ. Marriage is a shadow, a forward-looking preview (i.e., type), of Christ’s sacrificial love for the church in dying to save her.

Thus, your marriage is not primarily about you. Something much more monumental is at play. The ultimate purpose of your marriage is to display God’s glory by mirroring Christ’s covenant relationship with his church. This is why marriage exists—including yours.

Now, lest you think this takes away from the importance of your relationship to each other, let me be clear: far from making your marriage of lesser significance, the fact that it points to Christ infuses it with profound importance. Your marriage isn’t trivial; it’s caught up in the very purpose for which God created the universe: the glory of his Son!

And this truth ought to fundamentally shape the way you approach your marriage.

First, it means that your marriage has a purpose that transcends your own happiness. We exist not for ourselves, but to give Christ supremacy in all things—in our lives, in the church, and in every sphere of creation—including our marriages. Marriage exists to put Christ on display before a watching world. So pursue your marriage, not primarily for your own sake, but to glorify Christ.

When you love each other sacrificially, when you serve each other humbly, when you forgive each other freely, when you persevere through difficulty, you are painting a picture of Christ’s love and the church’s humble submission.

Second, if marriage exists to set forth the worth of Christ, then it follows that marriage is a theatre in which to behold and savor Christ.

John Piper illustrates it this way: There are two ways to magnify something. You can use a microscope, which makes tiny things look bigger than they actually are. Or you can use a telescope, which helps us see enormous things as they actually are. Marriage is meant to be like a telescope, not a microscope. It doesn’t make Christ look bigger than he is, for he is already supremely great. Rather, marriage helps us see how great Christ truly is. It magnifies him by moving our perception of his glory toward reality.²

So enter marriage as an opportunity to learn more of Christ—and savor him. Point each other to Christ. Help each other see his beauty and worth. When you do this, your marriage can become a telescope that brings the reality of Christ’s worth into clearer focus.

But this also means, don’t look to your marriage to provide what only Christ can. Don’t try to make your spouse preeminent. Don’t look to marriage to give you ultimate satisfaction, ultimate security. Only Christ can do that. Your spouse cannot bear that weight—it will leave you disappointed, and it will crush them and crush your marriage. Keep Christ preeminent. Love your spouse deeply, but love Christ supremely. Love them more, by loving them less than Christ.³

Third, as Paul argues in the rest of Colossians, Christ’s preeminence means in him is the fullness of all we need. So, when your marriage faces difficulty—and it will—be assured, Christ won’t leave you stranded. Christ himself, in whom all fullness of deity dwells, goes with you. He won’t leave you without his enabling grace.

Peace made by the blood of his cross

Marriage exists to display Christ’s love for his church. As this passage states, Christ is reconciling all things to God, “making peace by the blood of his cross” (Col 1:20).

We need that peace because, apart from Christ, we are at war with God. Our wrongdoing places us under God’s just judgment. But, as Colossians 2 says, Christ canceled the charges against us when they were nailed with him to the cross (2:14). He offers new life and forgiveness to all who trust him for their rescue (2:12–13).

This is the good news of Christianity: God has made peace with sinners through the cross of Jesus Christ.

Notes

1. Fourth century Church Father, Athanasius, reflects on this divinely-purposed symmetry in the source of creation and redemption: “The renewal of creation has been wrought by the Self-same Word Who made it in the beginning. There is thus no inconsistency between creation and salvation; for the One Father has employed the same Agent for both works, effecting the salvation of the world through the same Word Who made it in the beginning.” Athanasius, On the Incarnation (St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 2002), 26 (1.1). ↩︎
2. John Piper has used this illustration in a variety of contexts. For one example of its use, particularly in the context of marriage, see John Piper, “The Surpassing Goal: Marriage Lived for the Glory of God.” https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-surpassing-goal-marriage-lived-for-the-glory-of-god ↩︎
3. This language and concept can be found in John Piper’s poem, “Love Her More and Love Her Less.” https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/love-her-more-and-love-her-less ↩︎