God is sovereign (in control) of our suffering and the evils of this world. This casts a deep hue of divine meaning and purpose over our experience of suffering. … But it does not necessarily diminish the actual experience of suffering itself, nor do theological explanations of suffering necessarily decrease the pain.
This is an important (precious) distinction for anyone who has gone through a severe experience of pain, suffering, abuse, or sorrow. Do not conflate “God works all things (even evil and suffering) together FOR good” (Rom 8:28 — a promise that believers can take to the bank) into “Everything that is being worked out by God IS itself good” (not the case; not in the Bible).
In your good intentions, do not validate someone’s abuse; neither diminish their pain. Own evil as evil. No need not to. We have a God who is sovereign enough for that.