In To Heal or Harm: Scripture’s Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors, Steven R. Tracy asks the question, “Is it acceptable for abuse victims to be angry?”1
He observes, “Countless times, I have seen abuse survivors condemned by church leaders for being angry at their abusers or those who failed to protect them from their abusers.” They are indicted “for their ‘victim posturing’ and … ‘sinful anger and bitterness.'”
“Many argue that virtually all anger over what others have done to us is sinful.” As one author contends, “Ninety-nine percent of my anger is sinful; I don’t want to give tacit permission to my frustration by calling it righteous indignation. … If I am angry because of what someone did to me, I am always wrong.” Yet, while recognizing that we should be on guard against the potential dangers of anger—for instance, “Jesus condemned anger in Matthew 5:22;” likewise we are told to “refrain from anger (Ps 37:8), put it away (Col 3:8), and not make friends with someone given to anger (Prov 22:24)”—Tracy nonetheless poses the question, “Is it always sinful to be angry at injustices we suffer?” (emphasis mine). He answers,
The following is from Harold L. Senkbeil, “Leading Your Sheep,” in Pastoral Leadership: For the Care of Souls, Lexham Ministry Guides (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2021), 54–56.
“The Bible, however, makes a clear distinction between authorized power and unauthorized power. The only legitimate way to do ministry is by way of the authority of Jesus: doing what he’s given you to do. … Many unfortunate dysfunctions arise when power is confused with authority. When pastors operate not out of their divinely commissioned authority but rather out of their private opinions and desires, conflict usually occurs. …
This works for a while; it may even work for quite a while, depending on the strength of the pastor’s personality. But you can see that it’s a strategy fraught with danger. It breeds resentment and discontent within a congregation for sure, and often these situations get ugly. People may suffer silently for a while, but eventually their resentment spills over into open resistance and rebellion. Now you’ve got a power struggle and contest of wills on your hands, as the pastor keeps trying to outsmart the opposition and form allegiances among his fans against his enemies. It’s a powder keg situation politically speaking. And you know for sure you’re in for trouble when the church is viewed increasingly from a political point of view.
So when you do ministry by power, you’ve got a potential brouhaha on your hands organizationally speaking. Worst of all, where pastor and people lock horns in a political power struggle, a church is collectively delivered into the hands of the great politician, the great power broker: Satan.”
1. Spiritual abuse often won’t be obvious to onlookers
[S]piritual abuse isn’t always obvious. It doesn’t appear with twirling mustaches and overt villainy. … Sin is universal, and as Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn famously said, ‘The line separating good and evil passes … right through every human heart—and through all human hearts.’ A problem with assuming spiritual abuse will always appear obvious is that we blind ourselves to its many less-than-obvious occurrences. As Jesus himself said, wolves won’t appear as wolves, but as those dressed in sheep’s clothing (Matt 7:15). And often our own self-interest and confirmation bias make it difficult to acknowledge that a beloved leader would act so harmfully.
2. Abusers often manipulate by appealing to sound principles
Good principles can be weaponized: calls for unity can stifle dissent; appeals to authority can be used to demand trust rather than earn it; submission can be coerced instead of cultivated. The result is a spiritually oppressive environment, often masked by theological correctness, appeals to trust leadership, and a sense of legitimacy.
3. Spiritual abuse is deeply damaging
[Consider] the deep damage spiritual abuse can cause, taking things that are so vital and good (e.g., Scripture, one’s relationship with God, the church) and twisting them into a source of agonizing pain and confusion. Symptoms can include the following: physical symptoms (e.g., PTSD-like stress), emotional and relational trauma, social ostracization from their church, [and] doubts about God, faith, and the church.
4. We must prioritize people over reputations and institutions
Many victims never come forward—and those who do often regret it. Time and again, … the ecclesiastical process (e.g., investigations) proved more traumatizing than the abuse itself. Victims are often disbelieved, maligned, attacked, or pressured to remain silent. Churches often protect their leaders or institutions rather than those abused for the sake of “carrying on with the mission.” [Churches must] put people above institutions (see Isa 1:12–17). Protecting the church’s reputation cannot come at the expense of the wounded.
Kirk E. Miller 