God hates divorce.
But that does not mean he opposes all divorce.
No, divorce was never God’s original intention for marriage. Divorce was not part of the equation when he created marriage: “from the beginning it was not so,” as Jesus said quoting Gen 2:24 (Matt 19:9).
Nonetheless, on this side of the fall, we find in scripture that, in his mercy, God gives certain allowances for divorce.
My experience as a pastor, counseling people with abusive spouses, helped me better understand God’s hatred of divorce. I’m not saying experience determines our theology or should be used to overrule scripture. But sometimes experience can expand our understanding.
God always hates divorce. But sometimes he hates it because it’s unwarranted, it’s wrong to pursue, he doesn’t allow it (like in Malachi 2:16). In other instances though, God hates divorce because, although he warrants it, he nonetheless hates the sin that made it warranted.
In other words, all divorce involves sin. But not all divorce is sinful.
I’ve seen first hand the negative impact when pastors fail to grasp this. Very practically, they see divorce as a greater evil than the abuse the spouse is enduring. Divorce is never seen as God’s mercy to the abused spouse.
Divorce is never the outcome we want for any marriage. But sometimes it’s God’s mercy in a fallen world—”because of your hardness of heart,” as Jesus says (Matt 19.8).
Kirk E. Miller 