Ministry

How God Hates Divorce: His Merciful Allowance in a Fallen World

Kirk E. Miller

God hates divorce.

But that does not mean he opposes all divorce.

No, divorce was never God’s original intention for marriage. Divorce was not part of the equation when he created marriage: “from the beginning it was not so,” as Jesus said quoting Gen 2:24 (Matt 19:9).

Nonetheless, on this side of the fall, we find in scripture that, in his mercy, God gives certain allowances for divorce.

My experience as a pastor, counseling people with abusive spouses, helped me better understand God’s hatred of divorce. I’m not saying experience determines our theology or should be used to overrule scripture. But sometimes experience can expand our understanding.

God always hates divorce. But sometimes he hates it because it’s unwarranted, it’s wrong to pursue, he doesn’t allow it (like in Malachi 2:16). In other instances though, God hates divorce because, although he warrants it, he nonetheless hates the sin that made it warranted.

In other words, all divorce involves sin. But not all divorce is sinful.

I’ve seen first hand the negative impact when pastors fail to grasp this. Very practically, they see divorce as a greater evil than the abuse the spouse is enduring. Divorce is never seen as God’s mercy to the abused spouse.

Divorce is never the outcome we want for any marriage. But sometimes it’s God’s mercy in a fallen world—”because of your hardness of heart,” as Jesus says (Matt 19.8).

Top Preaching Tools & Resources That Belong in a Pastor’s Library

Kirk E. Miller

“In his classic work, The Christian Ministry, Charles Bridges opens his section on sermon composition with these words:

How much responsibility attaches itself to the subject matter and the mode of our pulpit addresses! It cannot be of light moment, whether our people are “fed with knowledge and understanding,” or with ill-prepared and unsuitable provision. The pulpit is the ordinary distribution of the bread of life for their daily nourishment, and much wisdom indeed is here required.1

Indeed, it is! Writing and delivering well-communicated, biblically faithful sermons demands our study and energy. But having the right tools can help us in that effort.

In this article, we’ll survey some of the best tools and resources available to preachers in the sermon-preparation process.”

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Changing Unwanted Thoughts (with Esther Smith)

Kirk E. Miller

Are you burdened by anxious thoughts? Does your mind race uncontrollably? Are you prone to ruminate? Maybe you are wearied with thoughts of hopelessness, self-deprecation, unpleasant mental images, or a range other unwanted thoughts. At some point or another, all of us experience some form of mental anguish or distress. In this episode, Esther Smith, seasoned counselor and author of A Still and Quiet Mind: Twelve Strategies for Changing Unwanted Thoughts, provides us a multi-faceted, Biblically-integrated approach for dealing with the battles in our minds.

Access the episode here. (Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and more.)

An Unbusy Pastor | Eugene Peterson

Kirk E. Miller

From The Pastor: A Memoir by Eugene Peterson. Excerpt originally published at YouthWorker.com.

‘As a congregation, we had achieved critical mass, we were self-supporting financially, we had built a sanctuary that gave visibility to our worshipping presence in the neighborhood. It was the beginning of what I earlier called the badlands era in which the euphoria of establishing a church had gone flat,the adrenaline of being involved in a challenging enterprise had drained out. I had worked hard for those three years. The congregation had worked hard. We couldn’t sustain it.

Except that I tried. I formed committees. I made home visits. Longer hours. A longer workweek. Just a few years previous to this, Roger Bannister, the first 4-minute miler, wrote his autobiography in which he described life following his high-profile athletic celebrity. He wasn’t breaking records anymore.He compensated by working harder and harder. He described himself as a carpenter who “made up for his lack of skill by using a lot of nails.” That was me. I had tried to slow down. I had tried to relax, but I was afraid of failing. I couldn’t help myself.

One evening after supper, Karen—she was 5years old at the time—asked me to read her a story. I said, “I’m sorry, Karen, but I have a meeting tonight.” “This is the 27th night in a row you have had a meeting.” She had been keeping track, counting.

The meeting I had to go to was with the church’s elders, the ruling body of the congregation. In the 7-minute walk to the church on the way to the meeting I made a decision. If succeeding as a pastor meant failing as a parent, I was already a failed pastor. I would resign that very night.

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